Trying to stay positive

I seem super unfocused on my weight.  I am just not caring.  I ordered a chocolate shake on Friday night.  Are you kidding me?  I can't remember the last time I did that.  Last week I had a few things in the media.

1 - We were put on the fastest growing companies list (again) and this was published everywhere by CRN magazine.

2 - Araza sponsored a horse race and the racing.com and other race outlets put up the pic

What was I thinking?
I look fat.
I can't believe how much weight I have gained.
I hate this.